At the end of September, me and a couple friends of mine wanted to cut our hair shorter. We planned to have it during the semestral break since there was talks about a Senior High Ball that time and we still wanted long locks to style for that night. I was enthusiastic, I definitely wanted to cut my hair short since it became annoying and hard to wash. But that’s not the only reason.
I wanted change so bad. I have done shitty things this year and I am really not proud of them. These things have brought me guilt and sleepless nights. I thought cutting my hair would be the perfect opportunity to let these things go and start anew. Cutting it would mean cutting my copper-ish/ blonde-ish highlights which were new and kind of defined who I was this school semester since I only started rocking them during the summer. Also, something heartbreaking also happened to me in October which I would want to forget and move forward from and I feel being long-haired and colour-streaked would still bind me from it.
The time has finally come for me to cut my hair, it was only a few days until the designated date, the day we planned to cut and eat out afterwards. I was happy until I was told I could not leave the house on that day for some reason. I quickly told my friend that there was like 10% chances of me still going with her to the salon. She told me she couldn’t because a priority of hers just popped out and ended at the night. She asked if I could maybe reschedule to the evening but knowing my parents, they’d never allow me out at night so the cut never happened. for me anyway, she still cut her hair which I am very excited to see.
The whole day I was at the house, contemplating on the next time I could cut my hair. I already had a few options in mind, even considering Eleven’s (Stranger Things) cut. A friend of mine told me to ‘Think about it’. So, that was what I was doing now. Thinking about it until I finally came to a decision that I could not bring myself to cut my hair. It was not an issue on letting go or something related to that. I can’t cut it because I have grown to love it. I loved how it made me a completely different person every time its curled, I love my colour streaks. Some of the best things in my life happened with this hair. Although I could not think about a better reason that I could not cut my hair, I still believe that whatever instinct in me that stood firm and yelled ‘No Cuts!’ is the only instinct I could trust as of the moment.
I could not bring myself to cut my hair because I am not ready for it and if you aren’t too, then don’t.
I am not ready to cut my hair and that’s okay. I want to go with a pace I’m comfortable with and this is it. If someone would ever pressure you to do something you aren’t comfortable with then don’t. Think about it and give yourself time. Time. You don’t just jump out of your comfort zone if you haven’t got your wings yet.
PS. its not that long yet anyways 😉